Who says I can’t write crap?
Who says I can’t abuse?
Who says I can’t scream?
Who says I bathe everyday?
Who says I sleep every night?
Who says I don’t read while I shit?
Who says I hate to burp when I m full?
Who says I can’t play in the mud?
Who says I can’t swim in the stagnant water?
Who says I can’t poke my nose?
Who says I can’t scratch my ass?
Who says I don’t cry while I see some melodrama?
Who says I am too big to dress like that?
Who says I am too small to talk like that?
Who says I can’t day dream?
Who says I can’t fall in love?
Who says I can’t be blunt?
Who says I can’t be arrogant?
Who says I can’t be selfish?
Who says I can’t lie?
Who says I can’t steal?
Who says I can’t kill?
Who says I can’t jump from my windowpane?
Who says I am scared of ghosts?
Who says I can’t pretend?
Who says I am not manipulative?
Who says I worship god?
Who says I hate devils?

Who the fuck is he who says all that?
Grrrrrr……..
Bloody he

GURU

Guru brahma
Guru Vishnu
Guru deva
Maheshwara
Guru sakshat para brahma
Tasmay shree guru e namah

I bow down to all my gurus, I will fall short of words to express my gratitude towards them, but still I will express it in my own little way because its very necessary that I tell them their worth.
It is said that it’s a guru who can make your life or just spoil it, a complete guru will help you reach the pinnacle of success, I have not reached to any pinnacle of success but I know the change they have brought within me and I m proud of this change, I am some where happy with the person I am right now.
My school principal professor Nafiza Diwanji, she is an ideal teacher for me. I remember many a time she used to help students during exams, she used to explain them the answer and then ask them to write and check it then and there, she always said that exams are meant to test how much a child has understood in class, its not meant to make two children fight and compete. A lot of people couldn’t understand her but wish I could tell her that how much I respect her and how much I love her.

When I came to college and started participating in plays my first director Deepal Doshi said one thing again and again, that we are participating to do a good play and not to win and then all the directors I have worked with said the same thing but that’s when I realized what Mrs. Diwanji tried to say, that when you learn you must not compete because when you step in the professional world that is one thing that you can not escape, later on I realized that competitions are also a means of learning experience and these competitions are organized to give a platform to students to experiment and explore, for example if I win best actor I have discovered 1 dimension, one talent within me. Next time I must try something different, say direction or lights or may be some other role all together because once you step out this cocoon there are no platforms for experimentation and its better if we explore our potentials at this stage, but many a times these competitions make you fight and compete to such an extent that you start playing politics, you stop exploring and start using formulas for winning, u stop experimenting and you start repeating things that always work, that’s when we stop growing. Deepal was absolutely correct and I am happy he made me realize this very soon.
The man who taught me what is discipline, hard work and passion is Girish Dhoke, he is the man who never compromised, and he never gave up. Girish is the man who changed my life, the way I look at things. He is the person who forced me to think and in the journey of juloos he has become my great buddy. He is the one who inspired me to have good motives behind everything I do, he has not only been a great guru but has actually been an amazing guide, and he has not only made a difference in our lives but helped us make a little difference in others lives too. I can never do justice when I start showing my gratitude towards Girish.

My tution teacher Kokila mam and my political science teacher Maya Mirpuri have been so caring and motherly that I have realized that a teacher may not always give you best education but may just give you enough support to become the person you want to be. Both of them had the zest to become a complete teacher before being a great teacher, they both often said that if I cant bring a minute amount of change in you as a person, If I cant convince you to give up your bad habits, I fail as a teacher and that’s why I love them the most. The amount of support I have received from them is what I will never ever be able to return it back to them.
Anshul Pandey is my coolest guru, he helped me come out of the box, he encouraged me to think differently, he is the person who actually made me realize what Deepal wanted to say, he taught me what it takes to do things differently and he let us all witness the magic of thinking out of the box. He taught us the magic of under playing, its better not to preach and be in your face , coz its easy to spoon feed and mock someone and make them feel down because that makes your task easier, when will you challenge yourself as an artist to convey things by under playing? Anshul taught me one thing that you can never make people work, they will give their best when they want to, all you can do is motivate them, he is the person who taught me what passion is, what work is and what is the correct way of looking at things. In the simplest and coolest way anshul has taught me so much that I can not express my feeling towards him, but can just say that I thank him from the bottom of my heart.
And I can not forget my Reiki teacher, Madhuri, my school professor Padma,
All my directors and teachers; Alok Ulfat, Priyadarshan Jadhav, Hussain Syed, Prince Shah and most importantly my PARENTS and my sister RESHA who have been the greatest gurus in my life and my late. Nani who has given me immense of knowledge and unconditional love.
Thank you all

I am back....happily blogging again.....i would like to apologise to all of them who ever came to my blog expecting a new post but dint find any... may be its this attention seeking nature that made me feel that i should not blog if there is no one who is reading...but thats not the truth...if there is 1 person who is reading its more than enough...well i hav realised that the problem lies when we all expect....expect praise and appreciation at every juncture and we forget the love and care once we had recieved....
lemme start with this small incident that happened with me on 31st night, 07 at around 11:36 or something... there is a girl called Asha, she is a street child who lives near baskin and robins at churchgate and she sells flowers at the signal, before 3 years or more, me and my friends used to spent most of our time near the chaiwala who sat near baskin and robins and i often played with Asha and her younger sister Komal, once i randomly asked Asha, do you study? she said" nahi didi, aap padhaoge?"
i replied," kyu nahi, tum roz padhogi?
- "haan"
-"mein kitabein laa du?"
-"haan, kal kab aaoge aap?"
and then i started teaching her, i would just go and teach her whenevr i had time, i taught her the basics, tried teaching her verbal english and hindi and she used to enjoy studyin so much, i clearly remember that she told me once that some lady had promised her that she would teach her and she was from some sanstha but she never came back and she would thank me almost evryday, then once i asked her to act in our short film and she worked so well....after some days the chai wala left and the whole place where we sat was renovated and a big showroom was made there, we stopped sitting there and eventually i stopped teaching Asha.
on the 31st i suddenly saw Asha after 2 years, she was selling flowers near pizzeria and we were waiting there for dinner and she suddenly came upto me and said,"didi le lo na", and i turned around and she said," hello didi, maine aapko pehchana hi nahi, yeh aap ke liye, happy new year, thank you", and she gave me a flower and ran away... she made the year 07 so very special for me, she made me feel so special and she turned out to be my teacher... her eyes just thanked me, they did not tell me that why did you not teach me all? why did u disappear the way that lady had? why did you give me false promises? but those little eyes just twinkled and trust me i am not just adding adjectives but they really twinkled and said thank you. i was touched by her gesture, she taught me that i often fail to appreciate what some one had once done for me, that i often fail to thank people for their love and care and just keep on expecting more and more, i forget to do my duty to always return the affection with little gestures, Asha is not my student, she is my teacher....she is not poor, she is more superior to me, she knows how to love and that too unconditionally, she has the heart to appreciate and she is much more postive then you and me....she is the one who made me take a resolution that i must go and teach her till she is satisfied.... thanks to you Asha...hope you all the luck in life...god bless

Moksh means enlightenment which comes through complete detachments from parents, friends and loved ones……..detachments means no special bonding……..means every1 is same….parents , friends and the person sitting next 2 u in the train……all u care is that u don’t get attached with some1 and no 1 gets attached to you………but that’s hardly possible…..u may just hurt sum1 when your not attached……coz u seem more or less indifferent….and that might break some ones heart……so that is also a sin……..coz its inhuman to just think about your self……your attainment of moksh…..would just hurt their feelings….. as they know only to love……and that’s their good religion and philosophies………and so they expect you to be also as attached as they are…… but you don’t wanna loose anything……… the bottom line is what do you want?
Well I may want money, fame, food, expensive goods and what not……..but I need none……will they give me ultimate pleasure?
Nah each of them come with equal amount of problems…..weather money, fame or may it be just some food……….so does need or say want for moksh comes with equal amount of problems………so is that what I want?
May be no……I wanna care less about after world………I just know attachments lead to detachments……..as they are complimentary……so its better 2 except all attachments with its complimentary partner detachments……..so if there is an acceptance for detachments…..then u will never spend lots of time in getting over it……coz the destined time with a person place or thing is over and hence time must go on……..
So it does not mean that you should not attach your self with anything……..because attachments do make you feel good at the end of the day……what hurts is detachments……so why not accept it b4 it hurts you?........
anyways……..its inhuman to hurt your loved ones………and why detach b4 the time arrives?
So just tell them how much they mean to u……b4 u loose them for ever…..may be your ready for it but they aren’t………..so for them………just express that u care……..and your not indifferent……your just learning……your a kid……and u need them….

Computer ki screen, yeh chuhe sa mouse
Yeh key board aur yeh sharbat ka glass
Kuch nahi keh raha hai……
Bas yeh speakers koi gaana gun guna rahe hai,
Hindi, telgu angrezi ya gujrati
Bhasha koi bhi ho…agar geet pasand na aaye toh geet badal deti hoon
Par yeh bichare speakers ko thakne nahi deti hoon
Raat- din- raat bijli jalati hoon
Is orkut pe baith kar kya ukhad paati hoon?
Agar kuch bijli… mein bhi bachalu
toh who Vidharbh mein baitha kisan atmahatya na kar payega
Yeh jaan kar bhi roz facebook ka who web page khol dalti hoon

Is .com se kab bahar aayenge?
Virtuality mein jeete jeete reality ko kab apnayenge?
Materialism ki baatein karte hain har roz….
mc. donalds mein burger khate hai har roz…..
ravi shnkar kaun hai yeh toh nahi jaante hai…
aerosmith ko sun ne ke liye banglore tak bhagte hai…
mein insaan hoon ya koi metal robot?
Kisi ki taklif ka karan toh nahi main,
Par kisi ki taklif ka hal bhi nahi main….

Keetabon ko padhte padhte
graphics ki duniya mein chali jaati hoon
keetabon mein bhi video game ka maza paati hoon
harry potter ko padhte padhte
harivansh rai ki keetab
book shelf ke kisi kone mein rakh aati hoon
mahadevi varma ki who kahaniya bhool gayi hoon main
aaj kal seagull ke saath puri raat bitati hoon

Today, when I sit lonely…glaring at the rain drops, and smelling the strong aroma of the coffee…I go back in my past and look at all the changes that have come within me & I can’t help laughing out loud………I go back in my school days when I so desperately wanted the school to end so I could step into a new world, make new friends and live a new life all together……when that day arrived I cried my heart out….as I was attached to my friends, school, teachers, class-room etc etc….. the first day of college was full of excitement…..I made new friends, and got attached to this new institution…….now I shall weep when I leave these friends, teachers and the class rooms
Years have passed…..gossips and whose he-she discussions hav changed to philosophies of life and now we ask “who are we”…….Hitler teachers have become pals….and snobs of the class have become acquaintances…..little fights have taught us how to forgive and forget……samosa’s have become cold and the Chinese combo does not taste like plastic anymore……the whole annex building has come down……the ladies common room where boys rested most of the time is no more……new annex watchman has replaced mamu….rajesh asks for the id these days…….now all of us hang the jai-hind id on our chest….and just exclaim “ how tacky”……we miss the home ground and all those Malhar and Ipta practices……those care free kids are now confused about their futures….those bitchy faces have changed to friendly ones and resemble yours now as all realize we sail in the same ship and life is out side college…..we were juniors and heard lectures……we have become seniors and we give lectures ……dudes have become humans now…. And they glare at the J.C crowd and say “Ah! Kids”…… pals have become best friends and good friends have become yesterdays……crushes have become friend’s boy friend….and that person whom we loved truly will become our past…..
Today I learn that changes are inevitable…..and tomorrow I may forget this….as I forgot my school, my friends, my teachers…I shall forget my college, friends and teachers too…. Attachments make you weep….and trust me those are the most fucking dreadful nights you spend in your life……….
Remember those nights when your teacher got retired or changed the institution? Remember those nights you spent in order to forget your first love which couldn’t be yours? Remember those nites u spent after you fought with your best friend and you thought you wouldn’t talk to him or her again? Remember those nights you spent when your closest pal left for over sea’s studies to America, London or Australia? Remember those nights when your friend broke your trust? Remember those nights when you had your first break up?
Attachments….whether with things, places or people….make you feel sad at the end of the day…….years will pass by and life would become more disgusting….m not talking about the rat race or the 9-5 job….nor m a talking about expectations and friends or goals and success in life…… m simply talking about attachments……
We still hope that these friends would be friends for ever…..and cry on our day of graduation as we leave the college….we will go ahead in life…..become busy…..some times miss them and recall those old memories…..and wait for some one to organize a re union……get married, have children…send them to school… then college….and then get them married too….and then they will go through the same cycle of attachments and detachments…..and we will just spread out cynical smiles…..and say life is still the same