Today, when I sit lonely…glaring at the rain drops, and smelling the strong aroma of the coffee…I go back in my past and look at all the changes that have come within me & I can’t help laughing out loud………I go back in my school days when I so desperately wanted the school to end so I could step into a new world, make new friends and live a new life all together……when that day arrived I cried my heart out….as I was attached to my friends, school, teachers, class-room etc etc….. the first day of college was full of excitement…..I made new friends, and got attached to this new institution…….now I shall weep when I leave these friends, teachers and the class rooms
Years have passed…..gossips and whose he-she discussions hav changed to philosophies of life and now we ask “who are we”…….Hitler teachers have become pals….and snobs of the class have become acquaintances…..little fights have taught us how to forgive and forget……samosa’s have become cold and the Chinese combo does not taste like plastic anymore……the whole annex building has come down……the ladies common room where boys rested most of the time is no more……new annex watchman has replaced mamu….rajesh asks for the id these days…….now all of us hang the jai-hind id on our chest….and just exclaim “ how tacky”……we miss the home ground and all those Malhar and Ipta practices……those care free kids are now confused about their futures….those bitchy faces have changed to friendly ones and resemble yours now as all realize we sail in the same ship and life is out side college…..we were juniors and heard lectures……we have become seniors and we give lectures ……dudes have become humans now…. And they glare at the J.C crowd and say “Ah! Kids”…… pals have become best friends and good friends have become yesterdays……crushes have become friend’s boy friend….and that person whom we loved truly will become our past…..
Today I learn that changes are inevitable…..and tomorrow I may forget this….as I forgot my school, my friends, my teachers…I shall forget my college, friends and teachers too…. Attachments make you weep….and trust me those are the most fucking dreadful nights you spend in your life……….
Remember those nights when your teacher got retired or changed the institution? Remember those nights you spent in order to forget your first love which couldn’t be yours? Remember those nites u spent after you fought with your best friend and you thought you wouldn’t talk to him or her again? Remember those nights you spent when your closest pal left for over sea’s studies to America, London or Australia? Remember those nights when your friend broke your trust? Remember those nights when you had your first break up?
Attachments….whether with things, places or people….make you feel sad at the end of the day…….years will pass by and life would become more disgusting….m not talking about the rat race or the 9-5 job….nor m a talking about expectations and friends or goals and success in life…… m simply talking about attachments……
We still hope that these friends would be friends for ever…..and cry on our day of graduation as we leave the college….we will go ahead in life…..become busy…..some times miss them and recall those old memories…..and wait for some one to organize a re union……get married, have children…send them to school… then college….and then get them married too….and then they will go through the same cycle of attachments and detachments…..and we will just spread out cynical smiles…..and say life is still the same