LET ME BE YOUR MOTHER

There is so much that you have given me, there is so much you have cared for, if you look at yourself carefully, you’re a divine creation of lord. Two hands full of pebbles; two hands full of snow, and two hands full of sugar cubes to sweeten up my life as never before. Go back to my past, way back when I was born, u kissed my forehead when I cried and also sang lullaby, u changed your mood to good when you saw me sad, u changed my undies and dippers when I made it bad. You loved me even when I kicked your breast with my tiny legs, and feed me milk as I wept. You saved the penny from your daily bread when I cried for a toffee; you ate half and gave me half which I feed it to my puppy. You smiled at me when I said sorry for scoring less, you hit me hard when I lied to you and pampered me when I was in stress. You even kicked me out when I took you for granted, you hit me hard when I dared to abuse, and later you cried harder, healing my bruise.
How many years has it been, that you have gone for a holiday or even planned next two years of your life? You have lived just for me, just for your children, just for your family, you are the selfless soul my mother, you are the perfect symbol of love, unconditional love.
Never a word of appreciation, or just a small thank you, not even a smile that we can remove from our busy schedules to greet her good morning or night. Thousands of tantrums we throw on her like our bags, shoes, socks, towels and files as if she was just a mother too happy just to love, unconditional coz she never expected, never said a word. We still kick her breast with huge legs, pull her hair and pinch her nose, and she still kisses us when we are in deep sleep and when we snore.
I want to give you all I can, not just a holiday package or some bucks, not even a thank you for all you have done. You deserve a life for you, a life that you gave me, let me be your mother mummy, coz you need love unconditionally. Let me make your hair, and press your clothes, let me make you chocolate milk with peanut butter toast. Let me scold you when you fight with daddy, just as you scold me when I fought with didi. Mummy please let me be your mother, coz you deserve it all. Do not think that I am trying to return all that you have done for me, how can I return something so precious, Can I please keep it always with me?

Thousand miles did I walk; and he walked with me till half way...I searched him in the other half; I searched him in meadows, in farms and barren lands, in holy churches and chilling verandas but found him nowhere. Finally when I gave up; I found myself hanging in the air....it was he who picked me up in his arms and walked faster than ever before. We crossed the river, we crossed the stream, we crossed the mountain, and the deep valley beneath; we crossed the farms with swinging daffodils, we crossed the clouds with the heart of sun and we crossed the wind mills.
I was sad, scarred and down in life; I was shocked, frustrated and I wished to say good bye. I had spent half the journey just to find him, while I reached nowhere. I wasted half my energy, half my time, half my passion to find him, yet he did not care. He fooled me, and let me go haywire by not showing up in my vision or letting me smell him in air, no aura, no light; no image in my sight, he fooled me half of my life, he fooled me half of my life.
Just to find him I lost my goal, my dream, my passion for which I thought I could die. It was he who was responsible for me to lose my vision, my eyes; it was he who was responsible for me to lose my nerves and my brains.
He swung me in the air, he flew faster and faster, and his speed erased all my thoughts, beliefs and sentiments. And then I filled the universe with my loud scream, he dropped me to the ground and broke my dream. I starred the air, as if I starred him, I hit the ground and slapped the stone; I abused and shouted loud at the mirror across. I cried and cried till my vocals broke, I wept and wept till my emotions choked. Then I remained silent for a while and the wind gushed in my ears, it was he who spoke for the first time, “I love you my dear”, he said. He picked me up in his arms again, kissed my cheeks and hold me tight; he took me to the paradise. A barren land with shining sun, a tree house church without a nun, a black hole in the universe, flowing river without the rhythm, no gravity no law, no rule to follow. It was dark, way to dark but there was light within my heart. It was paradise, indeed. It was paradise if u see, paradise of heart and soul, paradise of passionate goal.
We sat at a bank of waterless river, for he knew I had lots to ask. He said in the best voice he had, “journey of life is such, where you walk half the journey with passion and spirit and you always find me besides yourself. It’s when your spirits die, and your determination fluctuates you feel the need to see me beside. My dear I was never visible, but now u want to see me, if I really exist; now you feel the need to find me. Your journey always remains pre determined, well planned, it will always take the time it has to take to reach the goal, it is you who gave up, you who thought I left your hand, but my dear I was always there; there in your faith. Your faith in me helped you to spend half the time and journey remained and when you gave up on me, I picked you up and got you here not because I did not want you to lose your faith on me, but because the time had arrived for you to reach here. My child, the only way to see me, is to see within, coz when you talk to god, you talk to thee. My dear, journey of life is such, the day you stop finding me and questioning me you will kill yourself.”
I smiled at him, and hugged his aura coz I felt it now and whispered softly; “I love you, I love myself”.
I kept quiet for some time, and noticed the waterless river and looked at him,
“ahh! He’s gone to find me”, he said.